I On the Arts' Worst Pop Culture Moments of 2015
With another
year coming to a close, it’s time to look back on 2015 and judge. Since I did
not see every movie, watch every show, listen to every song, or read every book
that came out during this year, my list of the five worst and five best pop
culture moments will be idiosyncratic and incomplete. Enjoy!
5. The announcement of
plans for Hunger Games prequels (and the ceaseless continuation/expansion
of the worlds of young adult/children’s literature)
The
Hunger Games were a thought-provoking, gripping yet uneven trilogy of
books. In the new grand tradition of young adult book-to-movie adaptations,
three books became four movies of varying quality (sorry, Gary Ross: the first
one is still the worst). Now that the original source material by Suzanne
Collins has been used up, the Hollywood money machine crunches on, with
Lionsgate announcing in early December that they are developing Hunger
Games prequel films that will prominently feature stadium-style
arenas as opposed to the more landscape-esque battlegrounds in the first two Hunger
Games films. Key quote from Lionsgate Entertainment Vice Chairman Michael
Burns: “The one thing that kids say they missed (from the existing Hunger Games
films) was there was no arenas,” he said. “If we went backwards there obviously
would be arenas.”
Good
thinking, Mr. Burns. Have you also considered hiring these children to write,
cast, and direct said new films, since you’ve obviously decided to substitute
their judgment and desires for any remaining shred of pride this franchise has
(Katniss/Peeta action figures and Capitol-inspired CoverGirl makeup line
notwithstanding)? As the film series rose and dipped in quality, the one constant
was Jennifer Lawrence, who turned in consistently excellent, thoughtful
performances as Katniss. But Lawrence has
said she will not be participating in any prequels. What kind
of success or prestige do you think you’re going to have without her?
This
Hunger Games announcement is similar to the decision to continue
the Harry Potter series. Come on, J.K. Rowling—the part people
hated was the epilogue. Why did you sign off on the upcoming play Harry
Potter and the Cursed Child, which promises even more sappy, hokey Potter
babies stories? Furthermore, the upcoming Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find
Them seems like another attempt to wring money out of this book/film
franchise that still has to be doing fairly well even after the series has been
over for several years. (The monochromatic casting of Fantastic Beasts
is a whole other issue that demonstrates the limited imagination of the
executives involved in this decision.) Pottermore was one thing, the Universal
theme parks were another, and being so kind to answer questions via Twitter is
nothing other than totally lovely of you. But I can’t be the only one asking you
to let the series be a wonderful series of seven books and corresponding eight
films. Let Harry Potter breathe (at least until they remake the movies in
thirty years).
4. “Marvin Gaye ft.
Meghan Trainor” by Charlie Puth
Perhaps
including this harmless, extremely catchy song on my list of the worst pop
culture moments of 2015 is a little harsh. After all, hearing one bar of it
gets the song stuck in my head for several hours.
Yet
when you call a song “Marvin Gaye,” there is an expectation that the
song will be, if not sexy and sophisticated, then certainly not an
over-polished piece of shiny piano pop. Including Meghan Trainor (who,
admittedly, sounds good on this song) further sanitizes a self-consciously
faux-naughty song that appropriates the idea of Marvin Gaye, whose music is
actually sexy, in order to sell a work that is merely performing rather than
embodying the idea of sexual attraction. It honestly sounds like a song you
would put in the background while you’re shopping at Limited Too (with the
reference to Kama Sutra edited out, natch) and sounds a bit like the Kidz Bop
version of itself.
Additionally—and
this is the main reason for my dislike—this song sounds like the white version
of “Cadillac
Car” from the musical Dreamgirls. You know, when the white
radio stations steal Jimmy Early and the Dreamettes’ jingle about—you guessed
it—Cadillac cars, and re-record it with white singers to appeal to their white
audience. That’s how lacking of ingenuity and genuine emotion “Marvin Gaye”
is—and, given the name of the song and the reference to “get[ting] it on” it
should at least have more soul than it does.
3. Joss Whedon’s Avengers: Age of Ultron
Oh
boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Where to begin with this disappointing follow-up to
not only the first Avengers movie, which was a dynamic action-packed
film with some great moments of levity and one-liners, but to the phenomenal Captain
America: The Winter Soldier, which is arguably the best film in the entire
Marvel Cinematic Universe? Do I begin with the plot of the film, which features
Tony and Bruce acting out of character (especially Bruce) and generally
carrying the Idiot Ball in order to create super-evil-technology-robot-internet
villain Ultron? Do I begin with the film’s tangents of Clint’s secret family
and Thor’s confusing, woefully under-thought Vision Quest? How about I first
draw attention to the most egregious misstep of Avengers: Age of Ultron:
the poorly-conceived quasi-romance between Natasha and Bruce that not only
takes up too much screentime, but serves to demolish what little
characterization Natasha has received from the various Marvel Cinematic
Universe films in which she has played a secondary role this whole time? Yes, I
think I’ll do that.
Not
only did it come out of nowhere, but Natasha’s secret undying love for Bruce
Banner makes little actual sense within the universe established by the first Avengers
movie. How does Natasha go from fearing the Hulk more than anything, because
the Hulk cannot be manipulated, to not only being used to give him his
calm-down “lullaby” in an attempt at a Beauty-and-the-Beast allegory, to
pledging her love for him, trying to convince him to run away with her, and
call herself a monster not because as a child she was forced to kill her
classmates as part of her Black Widow training, but rather because of the
operation that sterilized her, meaning that she cannot give him children? The
answer, folks, is bad writing and sloppy character work on the part of Joss
Whedon, who is supposed to be the feminist-friendly sci-fi man. Yo, Joss,
you’re not as feminist as you think you are if you reduce your one main female
character to a love interest, destroying her integrity in the process. Also:
Natasha can, canonically, pick up Thor’s hammer; Joss also denies us the
satisfaction of seeing Natasha show up Tony and Bruce.
There
is plenty more to complain about. The subplot revealing Clint’s secret family
squirrelled away on a farm in the middle of nowhere is a lazy attempt at
developing a character that, frankly, never gets all that much to do,
considering he was possessed by Loki for most of the first Avengers
movie. Or Thor’s Vision Quest subplot, which takes him out of a good chunk
of the movie with no reward (unless seeing Chris Hemsworth wet and shirtless
counts). But since I only saw Age of Ultron once, I could not tell
you its significance or why it was included, except perhaps as a connection to
a future Marvel Cinematic Universe film. Or the fact that Bruce Banner is
supposed to be the cautious one in the Avengers, and yet Tony has no problem
convincing him that creating Ultron was ever a not-terrible idea, no matter how
compelling the science.
TL;DR:
Avengers: Age of Ultron should probably be watched, if at all, while
doing something else. Like playing a game on your phone. It gets us generally
from The Winter Soldier to Captain America: Civil War,
which comes out next year, but other than that, it’s just not that good a
movie.
2.
The Rise and Insistent Continuation of the
“Coddled Millennial” Thinkpiece
This
is the part where I state my bias. I am, in fact, a millennial, a senior in
college, and extremely left-leaning, so my objection to this sort of essay,
written by Baby Boomers with a chip on their shoulders, is to be expected. Yet
what the writers at the Atlantic and Wall Street Journal and all
those other respectable publications choose not to consider as they cry out
against our overly-PC natures and our supposed hatred of free speech is what is
actually happening at colleges nowadays, and how rather than pushing issues of
race, gender, and sexuality to the margins, people with the privilege to do so
have actually begun to stand in solidarity with the oppressed students on
college campuses.
While
of course being able to attend college in and of itself is an incredible
privilege, it doesn’t mean that minority students at Yale, for example, are
automatically transported to a land of magic and butterflies where they should
never, ever complain about being treated poorly by their peers on account of
their identities.
News
flash: racism is real, cultural appropriation is real, anti-Semitism is real,
sexism is real, homophobia and transphobia are real (despite Microsoft Word
trying to tell me the latter is not a real word) and they exist on college
campuses throughout the United States. Condemning hate speech is not actually
banning or stifling free speech. Students banding together to ask or to demand
to be treated with dignity and respect regardless of their identities should
not be something to be frowned upon. Students not wanting their colleges to
invite (and pay) speakers who aim to disparage an entire oppressed demographic
is perfectly reasonable, and the same goes with comedians who love to complain
that my generation is too PC. Jerry Seinfeld, sorry to break it to you, but
making fun of gay people isn’t considered funny anymore.
It’s
not because college students no longer have a sense of humor, but rather,
college students have finally begun to be less myopic and to think about people
different from themselves. Besides, there are comics popular with
college students who manage to punch up, which is one of the hallmarks of good
comedy. Look up Hari Kondabolu and you’ll see what I mean.
At
this point, jumping on the bandwagon and wringing your hands about the state of
the nation’s youth in this regard is intellectually lazy and demonstrates a
lack of ability to empathize with others that, fortunately, is slowly being
learned and practiced by my fellow college students. I look forward to seeing
the end of this perpetual train of thinkpieces, and an end to the idea that
because students finally have enough capital and support to fight for equality
and safety on their college campuses they are whiny and coddled.
Also,
a note to TIME Magazine: the selfie will not be the end of us all, despite what
you like to put on your covers. Thank you.
1. Donald Trump
Please
don’t vote for Donald Trump.
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